September 12, 2006 at 1:48 pm 16 comments

I like comments. Getting an email to tell me that someone has commented while I am engaged in some mind numbing task on the computer can be enough to make me smile. I like feeling that there are some (yes, some. not huge numbers but enough) people out there who enjoy reading my rubbish. I like reading other people’s blogs and commenting there and getting comments in return, it makes me feel part of something.

But there is something I don’t like.

Why is it that whenever someone has something negative to say, they are ‘annoymous’? Can’t they even bother to make up a name? I don’t mind negative comments – if I did, then I’d stop writing or close comments. But I do find it sad that someone who wants to criticise me does it annoymously.

And in answer to my recent Mr or Ms Annoymous – my parents knew who I was with in Treasure Beach. And yes, I am fully aware that there are issues to be thought about – otherwise I’d have been calling him MY man for ages now! So a challenge to you…

Please let me know if you can introduce me to any men who are of a more suitable age who..

… make me laugh when i’m in a mood
… call me to check up on how things are going if he knows i’m having a rough day
… would be willing to leave their friend’s party early because I want to
… would be happier sitting around talking in Christophers than being upstairs dancing in quad
… wouldn’t be freaked out by the fact that I want to get married and have kids soon
… is supportive of that fact that I have a job which I am good at, which takes a lot of my time and which I intend to progress at
… don’t think it is clever to spend more on their car payments than on their house
… keep pink wine in their fridge for whenever i come round
… would rather attend jazz and blues festival than ATI weekend

I know lots of my friends who are looking for someone like that and have been looking for a very long time. Yes it’s a decison for me to make – would it be better for me to take the risk with someone who is older and deal with those related issues as I go along, or wait around for someone who is nearly as good as him but younger that might never show up?

And also – thanks for the assumption that I am a trophy girlfriend – I’d always thought that I wasn’t quite pretty enough for that category and also was too outspoken for that!!!


Entry filed under: On dating and relationships or lack there of, On replying to you lot out there.

Housekeeping More on the issue…

16 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Leon  |  September 12, 2006 at 5:27 pm

    Hey, you look like a trophy girl to me. And I’m not just saying that. Who doesn’t like comments? They’re little bundles of joy from your readers. People who hide behind “Anonymous” are obviously chicken.

  • 2. Gela's Words  |  September 12, 2006 at 7:39 pm

    When I read this I had to go back to your post to catch up on the comments. And you know what KG? Anonymous people aren’t necessarily lazy, just chicken as Leon said. Or they probably think you’ll be offended and don’t want to start a fight.

    Choosing a partner is certainly not easy. I totally relate. A friend just told me that if I want children it might not be possible because studies now show that after certain age, men, just like women might not be able to. Remember it used to be said that men can get you pregnant even up until he drops dead at age 101 🙂

    Do whatever you’re comfortable with. We might have to have that drink 🙂

    Forgive me for doing a blog post in your comments.

  • 3. Gela's Words  |  September 12, 2006 at 7:43 pm

    Hey you’ve changed your pic! Why is everything so far down? Profile etc.

  • 4. cooldestiny  |  September 12, 2006 at 8:52 pm

    Anonymous are spineless, chicken-ass bitches/assholes. I had one on my blog the other day and I just put the person in dem place properly.

    You sure gave it to him/her and a bit too nice if you ask me. I’da let them have it full blast!

  • 5. cooldestiny  |  September 12, 2006 at 8:53 pm

    And I’m seeing all your stuff to the left. Not sure why Gela seeing it at the bottom. Gela, are you using IE or Firefox? I’m using FF and it’s all good. When I use IE, then I see it at the bottom.

  • 6. Yamfoot  |  September 12, 2006 at 10:14 pm

    KG, you can actually change your setting so that it does not allow anonymous comment.

    That way, anybody who REALLY wanted to comment would set up a Blogger Identity.

  • 7. Irie Latino  |  September 13, 2006 at 12:23 am

    Looking at those traits you listed I am compelled to ask…”If you found him, would you want him?” I ask this because so often i notice women want the nice, thoughtful, intellectual guy and when they find him it is “Yikes, nerd!” lol Often what they really want is that bad guy who offers the challenge of trying to convert him into Mr. Nice. I’m not saying that is what you want but I’m asking because I see it all the time. It works the other way around too. Guys want the girl who is “wife material” but we chase after the “bad girls” like moths to the flame.
    I must say it was refreshing to see so many comments wishing you well with the older guy. You see I’m 37 and feel that I have rounded the corner which is that critical point where I am no longer headed in but rather heading out. And I won’t say I am depressed but I am a little disturbed by it. But it is good to know that there may be “nice young tings” interested in dealing with me twenty or thirty years from now. And by then I’ll be…
    …wise enough to make her laugh sometimes
    …calling to check up on her all the time because i’m retired with nothing to do
    …would be leaving a friend’s party early because every minute “I have to go ” and I’m not into that diaper thing
    …would be happy sitting in christopher’s cuz I can’t make it up the stairs to quad
    …wouldn’t be freaked out by marriage because i’ve been there done that and soon dead so the kids would be your problem
    …would be supportive of your job cuz my pension isn’t enough
    …wouldn’t be spending money on car payments cuz i’m blind as a bat and therefore a serious road hazard
    …and I’d rather attend jazz and blues festival because I don’t know what the fuck ATI is

  • 8. Gela's Words  |  September 13, 2006 at 7:14 am

    Cooldestiny, I don’t even know what I’m using, what is IE and firefox?

    The thing with totally disallowing anonymous comment though is this. Sometimes blogger acts up and the only way you can comment is by anonymously. I’ve experienced this where I’ve visited site and had problem commenting. So what I’d do is comment anonymously and sign so the person knows that’s its me Gela.

  • 9. Kingston Girl  |  September 13, 2006 at 9:19 am

    I have no idea why the pictures and stuff end up at the bottom all the time for me as well… Anyone who is any good at this and wants to help me – offers are accepted!

    Thanks for the good wishes from those who gave them – yes, I’ll do what feels right for me as (as i’m sure you’re all aware), the full story isn’t here…

    and i’m also amused that irie latino has so much time on his hands!!! i have to say, looking at your site, you are reminding me scarily of an ex of mine who at the end of the day thought I was boring because i was happy to sit and watch the world go by sometimes rather than dancing and turning so quickly that I had no idea what was going on!

  • 10. Guyana-Gyal  |  September 13, 2006 at 10:44 am

    I haven’t even finished reading your post and I’m annoyed. I went back to read what Anonymous said and I’m more annoyed.

    I dislike anonymous comments, I grumble to friends about them.

    But that’s not what bothered me…it’s the ‘presumptiousness’ of that person, imposing her / his choices on you.

    I’m not saying we should agree with each other…but the least Annoyingmouse could’ve done was to say it’s his / her personal preference to have a younger person because…

    Okay, I’m going to finish reading your post.

  • 11. Guyana-Gyal  |  September 13, 2006 at 10:50 am

    That was beautiful, Kingston Girl.

    Like I said, age is just a number. I once dated an older man but it was never his age that was the issue. It was his temper. I would call him cranky ol’ goat even if he was my age.

    You are so lucky to have found such a sweetheart and I hope it works out for you.

    I still don’t get why Anonymous hit out like that.

  • 12. Marissa Bustamante - aka Anonymous  |  September 13, 2006 at 11:38 am

    I’m sorry that you didn’t like my comment or my unoriginal name choice, Kigston Girl. That is your real name right? I do hope that you don’t find my moniker to be as sad as you did previously, especially since I am stuck with it.

    In my previous post, I pointed out what I felt to be salient points that, while obvious to more aged individuals (not that I am one mind you), may be less obvious to younger folks or angst-ridden individuals that may have a tendency to sell themselves short due to their insecurity or possible immaturity. The points I made were not meant as criticism nor were they judgment. They were simple facts of life for relationships with a large age difference. After all, you did solicit a response from an anonymous public.

    For the record, there are couples that have very happy relationships throughout their lives despite even greater age differences. But, the odds are generally against such happiness. The vast majority of such relationships either fail completely or are not mutually satisfying.

    With regard to your challenge, that’s just baiting. Besides, you’ll find it much more satisfying to find this elusive person on your own.

    Despite the risk of further offending you I will say that, based on your stated requirements and your implication of the difficulty of finding someone to satisfy those requirements, you may be setting your sights too low and likely need to change the people and places where you are hanging out. You are an attractive young woman and unless you are a copper-bottomed bitch in person (and there’s nothing to suggest that here), you should have no problem finding a man that exceeds your stated expectations AND is part of your own generation.

    Best of luck to you.

    Marissa Bustamante

    P.S. Looks like guyana-gyal (that’s her realname right?) agrees with you.

  • 13. Bashmentbasses  |  September 16, 2006 at 9:51 am

    Ahhhmmmmm…… Did I come in at a bad time?

    My cent and a half… If he be younger, with time you’ll find ISsues there. If he be the same age you’ll find isSUes there. If he be older you’ll find issuES there. The issues may vary based on the situation but if you both willing to work at it and neither going in bat-blind, do your thing gyrl!

    P.S. don’t buy viagra over the internet…. 😉

  • 14. Guyana-Gyal  |  September 18, 2006 at 3:12 pm

    Marissa, I come from a culture where age is not considered in making a marriage…other factors are…religion, same values, etc etc. Older men marry much younger women. I’ve known of older women to marry much younger men.

    Marriages / relationships tend to fail due to poor communication. Not age differences.

    If I could put my real name on my blog I would but for fear of bad politicians I don’t.

  • 15. Island Spice  |  September 21, 2006 at 3:00 pm

    Me again, late to the debate. Try something new, you might like it. Life is what happens when you are busy making plans. Good Luck!!

  • 16. Irie Diva  |  September 19, 2007 at 3:59 pm

    aaaahhhh some heat around here, for awhile i was wondering how u one so nice! lol

    i like irie’s reply as thats what i view about dating older men too, soon he’ll be at that age where he cant even make it up the steps! LOL

    but hey, wat waorks for you enuh, dont make nobody ruffle ur feathers.

    oh yeah, im still here… can u tell work is slow this week?


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About me

I'm a twenty-something year old girl living in Kingston, Jamaica. These are some stories from my life.
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