Endings

October 5, 2005 at 2:24 pm 4 comments

My bf’s mum died last week. She had had severe alzhemirs. She was in pain, bed ridden, unable to eat etc. So it was prob for the best. But still not a nice thing and still sad.

So this week has been hectic to put it mildly. The last funeral I had anything to do with was my grandad’s and that was in England. Very different to the Jamaican funeral! Family is flying in from all over.

In England, a funeral is attended by family and CLOSE friends. For example, none of my friends came to my grandad’s funeral – they didn’t know him well so it wasn’t thought of as being appropriate.

Here, everyone comes.

After the funeral in England, some people will prepare food in the church hall. This food will likely be sandwiches and little cakes. Then people will go to their own homes.

Here, catering for 200 needs to be planned for the house afterwards.

During the week, people call on the phone in England. They also send condolence cards… lots of them.

Here, every night this week there have been loads of people at the house. Needing to be fed and watered (or give rum). But I haven’t seen any cards.

So add that all together and I am kinda tired. I am also trying to figure out my role this week. I’m not a family member so am being careful not to look too pushy. But at the same time, my bf wants my help with things. People at the house ask me to get drinks etc because I know my way around, prob better than most of the other family members (my bf looked after his mum and she lived with him so all of this is taking place at his house). But the family members would rahter people asked them as they are the official hosts!

But come next week, the funeral will be over. The family will be scattered again. And then the reality of the death will probably hit them.

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4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. damanimichael  |  October 6, 2005 at 5:59 pm

    My sincerest condolences…

    Respect on your earth day…

    Reply
  • 2. Mad Bull  |  October 7, 2005 at 11:29 pm

    Sorry to hear. Those kind of things can be awkward, nuh true? Also, I don’t love this thing where the bereaved family has to dip deep to feed the five thousand. The people should walk with food to feed them. I know when my brother died, my aunt came around with tons of food and it was a good thing too as no one wanted to cook anything…

    Reply
  • 3. Mad Bull  |  October 7, 2005 at 11:30 pm

    Come to think of it, I have really treated her poorly in recent times… next time I’m in Florida, I am going to drop in and see her and Uncle F.

    Reply
  • 4. Guyana-Gyal  |  October 9, 2005 at 6:16 am

    My sympathies. It’s been a series of funerals here too.

    Reply

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About me

I'm a twenty-something year old girl living in Kingston, Jamaica. These are some stories from my life.
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